RheAnn's Fall Royalty List pt 1

Bow down to eight niche reasons to love fall— written by a girl who grew up in the south.

Happy Fall, cousins! This is my favorite time of year. I’ve currated a list of favs to help you enjoy the very best of what this season has to offer.

Let’s get into it!

Fall Royalty #1 Campy Horror Movies (bonus points if made before 2000)

What’s the best era for Zombie aesthetics? What skin color should warewolves have? What practical effects can we pull off with $20 and a soda can? Horror that’s passionate, fun, and doesn’t conform to the Business of Hollywood is the best, if you ask me. These horror movies often feel like they were directed by fascinated children who just happened to grow up and become adults.

Rocky Horror Picture Show, you horny freak, you will always be famous.

Fall Royalty #2 Over The Garden Wall

All my Wirt Warriors, put your hands up!

Over the Garden Wall accomplishes wild imagination, existential crisis, and charming narrative in ten eleven-minute episodes. The animation style introduces a playful Southern Gothic aesthetic that’s as rich and heartwarming as your favorite fall soup. The story follows Wirt, an existential, loner teenager who has no clear identity and only trusts in his self-fulling prophecy of torment and misfortune. Wirt is sidekicked by his younger brother, Greg, a little boy boldly walking on sunshine with a strong sense of self and a pure, innocent zest for life and loved ones. These characters go on a “dark night of the soul” journey, where they meet with eerily whimsical characters. Being lost in the mysterious woods propels them into an adventure of self-reflection and expansion.

The looming antagonist of the series is The Beast, a shadow monster with antlers and glowing eyes who roams the woods at night. Yo, this guy is scary. He saunters inbetween the trees at night and wails operatic scales as he delights in the misery he inflicts on his prey. Man, what’s so cool about this character is that the individual and collective fear of others is what fuels his power and lore. ¹That’s why his motives are so vague. His dark desire is often an assumption or manifestation of what already emotionally haunts the characters in the series. The only way to defeat this shadow monster is to face your own shadows. (Whew! Can the church say Amen!) Only the best formerly and currently depressed people you know have seen this show, but it really is a seasonal gem that everyone can enjoy.

Also, this show is deeply silly. If you need some help facing your own dark existentialism with a fair amount of hand holding, the good folks at Cartoon Network have cooked up something special just for you!

Fall Royalty #3 Practical Magic

This! is a top tier halloween romance flick. 60% of why this movie works is due to a mesmorizing creative ensemble that expertly built a world and characters to fall in love with. 15% is due to people loving witchy vibes and halloween. And 25% of why this movie is iconic is because Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman have beautifully thick and luscious hair. I’m serious and I won’t elaborate any further. Also, midnight margaritas. Ok, now I really don’t need to say anything else.

Fall. Royalty. Period.

Fall Royalty #4 Signs that say “Happy Fall, Y’all!”

This one’s simple, but hey, what charms me, charms me…

The absolute worst person you know has a sign on their desk or in their home that cheerily announces, “Happy Fall, y’all!” They will speak to the manager. They will trash talk you behind their back. They will turn entire PTA committees, office cliques, and church congregations against you. But, bless their heart, do they love them some Jesus, “the boys” on the local high school football team, and of cours, they love the fall, y’all!

Fall Royalty #5 Saying the word “brains….”

Get into it!

I recently became obsessed with saying the word “brainsss” like a zombie after watching Return of The Living Dead (1985).

Obviously, I’ve seen zombie movies before. I’m fascinated by how the rules for zombies vary from movie to movie and decade to decade. In some movies, zombies can only moan, move in slow, staggering waltzes, and eat human flesh. In Return of The Living Dead (1985), however, zombies run, mumble coherent sentences, sing full songs, wear costumes, and play tricks on the police over the telephone. They also loooove to say “braiiiinsssss"…..” whenever they see their food. I’ve started saying it whenever I see something that I want.

So.
Maybe I'm scrolling on tiktok
I see someone on a lavish international vacation 
That would put most folks in debt
I'll like the video and cry "braiiiinss!..." 
Or, if you.
Take me to chili's...
When the waiter walks by with a sizzling fajita plate for another table
I'll froth at the mouth and declaire "braiiiinnnsss!" 
(I thought it was for our table)

This is an exciting time for me because I haven’t had a zombie era since like 2016. RIP Glen. (real ones know)

Fall Royalty #6 Wearing brooches on sweaters (and scarves if you’re nasty!)

Y’all! Brooches are it!!!

I think the girls would have a lot of fun if they tried wearing a brooch with their chicest black sweater or even a linen vest with nothing underneath.

I adore brooches because they’re a very traditional yet nearly expired subculture of fashion. I’ve always perceived them to be quite professional-looking, especially when paired with ‘80s corporate fashion trends. Yet, so many brooches have the most whimsical or bizarre personalities. I just bought one at a flea market. It’s a gold scaredy cat with all its hair standing straight up and emerald green jewel eyes! Totally weird. Yet, totally regal. They make me look whimsical and put together. Brooches totally fit my vibe.

Brooches make me feel closer to my Granny.

Granny collected them all throughout her long life. I inherited a few of her pieces. They’re very, very chic. She wore them around the nursing home that she owned, at her peaceful home in Ridgeland, Mississippi, and, of course, at the black southern Baptist church we attended. She was something of a brooch legend amongst the other church mothers. *fan clacks*

Granny passed last November— on my late father’s birthday, actually. I wrote her tribute and wore her gold butterfly broach to her funeral. I celebrate her legacy by growing my own collection. I often pin her to my heart with tiny treasures. Some favorites from my collection include a gold gun hostler + removable pistol, a regal goldfish, a gold-framed window featuring a midnight blue sky, and the aforementioned emerald-eyed scaredy cat.

Fall Royalty #7 The Cinnamon Pumpkin Brioche Bread from Trader Joe’s

I already regret putting this out into the world because I have a near religious obsession with this pumpkin brioche bread. I’m serious. I buy it in bulk and store it in my freezer as rations for the following year. This brioche bread makes the perfect French toast and the BEST grilled cheese for all your favorite fall soup obsessions. Ugh. It’s a hearty, fluffy bread with the traditional brioche taste. But. The cinnamon warms the tongue while a hint of pumpkin brightens and rounds out the flavor, forcing your cheeks to turn upward into a smile.

It doesn’t get more royal than this.

You’re welcome.

Fall Royalty #8 Florence and That Machine, honey

Haunting. Poetic. Siren-esc. Danceable. Somber. Them dog days is overrrr.

Florence’s voice is that of a wailing river spirit. Her voice is the cold wind that whips under a fool moon. I just know this lady is a witch. She gives me major Demetor vibes. Florence and her machine inspire brutal and beautiful fall vibes. The witchy girls who get down with Stevie Nicks and my rock&soul sisters who dig Alabama Shakes will specifically love her latest album Dance Forever. As an unapologetic expression of battling her demons with a bitter “rise above it all” attitude, this album is relentlessly tormenting and courageously badass. Post-depression girlies and the girlies who fight through Seasonal Affective Disorder may harvest freedom, release, and power in this album.

I’ve loved this dark woodland fairy named Florence for years. Her music pooled my tears during The Great: RheAnn’s Parents Are Divorcing and Her Mom Has Breast Cancer of 2011. Florence is also the most regal, theatrical diva with a lyrical pen that absolutely shatters me.

So. Get into Flo and don’t say you didn’t know. (because, girl, I told you so!)

*****

Thanks for stopping by, y’all! That’s it for part one!

Smell ya later!

-RM

1. This is, I think, a very traditional tool of folklore, which also adds to the Southern Gothic charm of this series. Folklore is often generational and can reflect the shared anxieties of specific regions and cultures. In traditional southern folklore, you’ll hear tales about the devil and dark spirits that harm and possess civilians. It’s no wonder we have the phrase “fighting your demons.” What better demon is there than a manifestation of your own insecurities, shortcomings, and fear? Folklore can also include religeous fear mongering, but those are thoughts for a much different day.