Do you smell what's cooking?
an anecdote about trusting your gut – written by recovering people pleaser
Typically, my response to gossip manifests as a combination of my deeply southern soul and my whimsical nature. I take if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all to a reasonably serious degree.
This is what to do when someone asks why you decided against befriending a new person who wants some sort of platonic closeness with you:
First, pantomime lighting a cigarette.
The lighter should be difficult to work with, but once you get the drag going, the act should seem as effortless and smooth as the summer wind. Then after a long, savoring drag, stamp out a bit of fallen ash with your toe and say:
“Well, darling,” long drag, exhale “it’s awful nice for someone to invite you into their home for dinner. But if you don’t like the smell of their kitchen, you don’t have to eat and you sure as hell don’t have to stay.”
stamp out more fallen ash.
End scene.
